Feeling stuck? You probably mismanage one of these 4 elements.
Sometimes you find yourself stuck, demotivated and unsatisfied for no obvious reason. You feel that something is missing, life is not as full as it could be. But you are not certain what it is and how to fix it. It is time to pause, ponder and chart a new road map. Reflecting on these 4 elements may help you.
It is usually mismanagement of one or more of these elements that make you hit an invisible wall. Mastering them takes life (I am certainly struggling with all four), but keeping them in mind helps find the root problems and focus on solving them. Let’s unpack it with some examples.
Time
Skip the mental load of self-help courses of “time management” which teach you to cram more things in your already busy day. Time problem comes down to two questions: where does your time go? what do you get for the time you spend?
If you work for someone for a salary, you exchange your time for money. You, like me, probably sell most of your time (8 h/day?) for a paycheck. What do you get besides the paycheck for the time you spend? Do you accumulate knowledge and become a recognized professional in your field? Do you build long-lasting relations in your network? Does the time you spend compound to a higher value (and more benefits for you)? Or do you just soldier on, day in — day out? It helps asking what you get for your time at work besides money.
When you are off-work, how do you spend time? Do you enjoy time with your family and friends and build deeper relationships with them? Do you have hobbies that recharge you and make you learn exciting new skills without the pressure of necessity? Do you have interesting side gigs which may become your new job? Do you take courses to learn stuff outside of your professional trenches? Time off work is yours, you can spend it on your actual life.
People
Understanding people is where I personally suck. Many professionals I know have this problem, too. In the times when many technologies change every 2 years we like to think that our shiny new hard skills (ML, AI, new programming language, experience with XYZ) will brighten our CV and secure us a good job. In reality, up to 85% of new jobs are filled via personal connections, because people trust those whom they already know. If you rely on hard skills, you will stand in long line just to have your CV checked. If you know people, they will offer you jobs you never knew existed.
Managing people is a fine art, that’s why most managers suck. It requires listening to people and making their efforts focused with the right amount of pressure (or lack of), different for different people. Having healthy relationships with peers is a fine art, that’s why many teams fall prey to harassment, bullying, or indifference, among other maladies.
Having a loving and supportive family is even finer art, because you live, eat, sleep and shit together, and you are so different. That’s why so many people have hard relationships with their parents, spouses and children. Listening and understanding people is hard, but it is worth the effort.
Money
Money and time are often interchangeable: you can sell your time for money (salary or gig), and you can spend your money to safe time. What’s your personal priority — more time, or more money? Money tends to accumulate (if you are not wasting it), while time eventually runs out. Money is a concentrated energy that fuels households, companies, countries: it makes things move faster. You can exchange money for time of smart people to work for you. Money can help you find the best doctors and medicine for your family, or buy you time to spend with them. You can exchange money for information important for you. As they say, cash is king. Don’t underestimate it.
Information
If cash is king, information is queen. It’s not the lava of unfiltered information that floods your brain when you surf the Web. It’s not a flurry of contradicting opinions that everyone is willing to share with you. It is actionable information that you need to make moves in order to achieve the best outcomes. It is precious and rare.
What’s the best course of action? Where should I invest my time and money? Can I trust this person? Should I choose tool X over Y? Should I accept this offer? What’s the most important task to complete today?
We face a myriad of small and big decisions daily, and we rely on information that is incomplete, false, or outdated. Our own memory constantly fails us on what we once knew. Our imagination distorts the memories, and our skills get dull when not in use. Constant effort to search and update actionable information is one of the most important and hard tasks we have to do to stay afloat in ever changing environment.
Reflecting on each of the 4 elements can help you see where you suck. What are the unproductive drains of your time, money and emotional energy? Do you spend time with people who uplift you? Are you using the best available information for making decisions? Pondering on such questions may help you see the biases of mind and habit that distort your life. If you found those drains and biases, make an effort to improve. It’s hard, but keep trying. Nobody will do it for you, and it will get only uglier with time if you don’t work on it.
Keep working on it, and thanks for reading.
